Season 1, Episode 1, Part 2: The Cave of Skulls

The skulls. Turns out they're in a cave.

We pick up about where we left off. The caveman is entirely surprised to see the TARDIS, naturally. Unnaturally, he goes to tell his friends and family in the cave about it in perfect English. When he arrives, they're busy watching one of them (apparently called Za) try and fail terribly to make fire - his father made fire, and, thanks to handy exposition delivered by his girlfriend, "The leader is the one who makes fire!" All very intriguing.

Fire: it's so easy, even a caveman could...oh, sorry.

Meanwhile, our intrepid heroes are waking up from the TARDIS's horrible crash. At least, I'll have to assume it was horrible - they never even bothered shaking the camera last episode. The Doctor gets a nonsensical reading (0) and surmises, "I'm afraid this yearometer is not calculating properly." Despite a video screen showing the great outdoors (as noted before, the standard BBC quarry), Chesterton refuses to believe they've gone anywhere: "Just open the doors, Doctor Foreman!" The Doctor's response makes a nice title drop, in any case: "Hmm? Doctor who? What are you talking about?" He fusses a bit over outside conditions (air quality, radiation, etc.) and decides to take his Geiger counter outside with him anyway, even though he's quite certain they've gone back in time - his history must be pretty rusty. The Doctor rushes off to take samples, while Ian and Barbara stagger outside, Ian swooning in disbelief. I'll admit I'm rather surprised that the women are the more sensible ones here; this is the 1960s, after all.

Let's get Dr. Grant in here, we're stumped on this one.

While the Doctor, gathering samples of dirt behind some ridge, remains oblivious of the crafty caveman sneaking up on him, the other three examine a horse skull while Susan frets over the state of the TARDIS: it hasn't changed from a police box, and they're used to it changing to fit its surroundings. Another title drop from Chesterton (Who is he? Doctor Who?) brings us to the Doctor as he lights a fantastic Meershaum pipe; the caveman pounces and they both vanish instantly from the scene. Really: the camera cuts away, and all of 2 seconds later, the others are there and can't find a sign of him. The strike off in a random direction, and we cut to the cavemen's, um, cave.

The guy may be a jerk, but the pipe is amazing.

Thanks to more exposition, we find out the source of conflict in the tribe: some outsider called Cal is stirring up discontent, making the others antsy for fire and jockeying for the leader's position. After Za is through talking, the nameless dude from the beginning carries the Doctor in; typical discussion ensues about his "strange skins," etc., and he claims that he saw the Doctor make fire come from his fingers (lighting his pipe). Turns out the dude that brought in the Doctor is, indeed, Cal, and uses the opportunity to stir up more discontent.

Our villain, Cal. Brian looks on disapprovingly from the background.

Finally, some third party (I'll call him Brian) tries to stop the argument, but it's the Doctor who succeeds - he wakes up and promises them fire, but he's tragically lost his matches. The tables have suddenly turned on Cal - seems he's been lying the whole time.

On the right is Za, who I think we're supposed to like. Same goes for the Doctor.

And this is all about as boring as it sounds. Cal, desperate, holds a knife to the Doctor's throat; the other 3 heroes conveniently arrive, stir up a ruckus, and are immediately subdued. The Doctor again promises fire to save their lives (about time he did something nice), more argument ensues, and Za orders the 4 prisoners taken to the Cave of Skulls. Apropos of nothing, Za claims a woman as his own; turns out she's Brian's daughter, and he, understandably, objects. Brian is dubious about Za's promises of fire, but concedes his daughter to the jerk anyway. Za promises an old woman (let's call her Beth) that he'll kill the 4 strangers in the morning.
We cut to the Cave of Skulls, a cave with some skulls in it. 4 prisoners with their hands tied in front of them somehow manage to not untie each other, at least in the minute they're in there. Ian observes the skulls have been split open: cut to skulls, end episode.

Where did they even get rope?

Opinion time, everybody! I'll admit that I didn't really like this one, but I'll forgive it for being exposition for the next one, which had better be a whole lot more exciting. I notice the credits suggest names for the other cavemen (like Org and Hur), but I think I'll stick with Brian. Unfortunately, there's hardly a likeable character among them, and it just remains to be seen if the dumbass or the shithead will come out on top.